Terror in my Bones

A few words on anxiety, depression, and the ever increasing weight of living a modern life.

Sometimes I feel terror in my bones,
and I want to be alone.
In this tomb I have known,
my thoughts rest with Dorothy
in some hell called Oz.
Sadness takes me through
the doors of time,
and the countless smiling faces
of strangers welcome me.

When I close my eyes,
I find no escape.
I cast my heart out
from its home,
I can no longer take it
constantly reminding me
of what is at stake.

Imagine you hear ticking
inside of your empty body
while you’re sleeping
while you’re eating
while you’re doing all you can.
Now say there’s also an itch
deep inside of you,
a flea biting your soul.
Imagine itching an imaginary itch,
scratch until you bleed,
developing scars
from an itch that doesn’t exist.

I’m a house that won’t settle
the creaky-crit-crak
you hear at night.
I am a perfect room
With no windows
Or smokes
Or spirits.

Aigner Loren Wilson is a queer Black SFWA, HWA, and Codex writer. Her work has appeared in Arsenika, Terraform, Rue Morgue, and more. She was listed on the honors list for the Otherwise Fellowship award for 2019. She also writes or edits for Strange Horizons, Nightlight Horror Podcast, Oly Arts, Discover Pods, and more. She offers a writing craft newsletter to people who want to become better writers and publish quality pieces.

Over 200 published pieces. Thought provoking prose and poetry. Better Humans | Tordotcom | The Startup | Better Marketing. Follow to level up your writing.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store